Memories

A dark, amaranthine hollow; void of any semblance of anything humanity at all. That is what represents the existence of the people in my community. They do not understand the meaning of living; what they do each day is to pass the hours with their jobs, school, whatever that fits the bill. I once was alike them. I cared little for those I never knew, never bothered about anything else than my own life. Life, to me, was perfect in itself. There was food in our stomachs each day, a safe and protected community, pleasant friends and a happy family. Just as simple as that.

How gullible and naïve. Such foolishness.

Of course, now that I look back I cannot put the blame on my community. They had no chance to experience what I went through, to comprehend fully the implication of the thoughts I received. The pain involved would be too much for their oblivious minds to handle. The memories would shatter the people; destroy their perspective of all they thought was supposed to be, as they did for me. Whether or not it was a good thing, is an entirely different subject altogether.

Sometimes in my sleep I still hear the agonizing scream of the majestic elephant which suffered the loss of its family, or the newborn twin crying and struggling against my father’s strong hold; his life slipping away right after he gained it. They echo around my head indefinitely, never fading. Should I give those memories away, I would still recall the sheer agony perceived from those few minutes. Yet they gave me wisdom, they broke the shackles of ignorance once clasped tightly onto me. It is what keeps me hanging on despite knowing the cruelty behind my seemingly perfect world. It is what gives me the strength to carry on and sustain Gabriel’s life as well.

It is twilight as we continue on our journey. The temperature seems to be getting colder by the minute. I am hanging on, but I am worried for Gabriel. His weak body may not be able to hold out through the freezing weather. But it seems I have little to worry about. Gabriel is plonked on the marshy ground, throwing a branch away repeatedly, gurgling to no one in particular, and then rising to pick it up again. This routine continues. Suddenly, Gabriel decides he has had enough of his temporary toy and gets up on his unstable legs to waddle towards me. I stretch out my arms just in time to catch him as he trips, and he falls safely into my chest. Wrapping an extra layer of clothing to his body, I hug the toddler to my torso, feeling the soft warmth of his minute body, inhaling his scent. It calms down my tumultuous emotions of fear and anxiety. He giggles away, without a care in the world. I smile at him. He is now the most important person and priority in my life, excluding The Giver. If I lose Gabriel now, I lose all.

The magenta and vermilion of the evening sun blends together in the cerulean sky. It stretches over the entire horizon, from where I stand to the edge of the forest, beyond where I can see. Even if I possess the ability to See Beyond, I cannot see that far, really. But it is a sight to behold. It is brilliant, perhaps amongst the most beautiful things I have ever seen. A swell of happiness flows through me. It is during times like these that give me the courage to move forward from what I once was, to protect Gabriel.

The Elders made the choice to hide memories from the people, and now they shall have to pay the price and suffer. Who are they to decide how we should live our lives? Perhaps The Giver’s and my efforts would not be in vain. Perhaps the community would realise something gravely wrong in their lives and choose to question their values. Perhaps there will be a difference made. Not immediately, but someday, there will be a difference made.

So long as there lay the memories, there lay hope.

Jonas